(All Hail) Creation · Art · Books · Dogs · Indifferent Ignorance · Internet · July 2014 · Tumblr · TV

Quick Art Update

I usually just post these things in Twitter and/or Tumblr posts but they’ve all cropped up in the last couple of days so I thought I may as well do a proper post… Ahem.

I got an email earlier that most of my Etsy shop’s listings are expiring really soon, so if you’ve ever fancied any of what’s there head on over ASAP. Plus I am going on holiday for ten days on Friday so any physical orders after the 11th July won’t be shipped until the 23rd at the earliest, by which time most of those items will have gone. So get on it!

Society6 is having one of its free-shipping-on-most-items days if you follow this link and this link only. It’s weird and they don’t tell you how long the offer lasts, presumably to whip you up into a frenzy. It’s until the 13th according to that very link.

I’m currently taking story commissions on DeviantART (all the info is on the right hand side below the advert). Once again, when I’m away I will technically be on holiday so if you request anything then you won’t get a response for a few days.

I hate doing what are effectively sales pitch blogs but at least this way it’s one lone social media post, as opposed to eighty over the course of a day… plus this trails on nicely to what I really want to talk about, which is HOLIDAY READING.

You know the drill. I take more books than I can carry, I read most of them, set up blogs talking about them and always include one novel that is totally depressing and/or gross. The first year I did it I took Trainspotting, which I haven’t read since; last year was We Need to Talk About Kevin which I then chose to study for my A Level and never want to read again… the further I explored it, the more effed up it became. I think this year will be Goodnight Mister Tom, which I have never previously read because I saw the TV adaptation about ten years ago, got so distressed I cried and have refused to open the book ever since.

But I’ll probably take this fortnight’s Private Eye and The Son of Neptune so it’s okay! There will be laughs all round! I will also take a book of codewords because since I stopped going to school my vocabulary has been on the downturn, which is bad for everybody. If I’m not careful I’ll only be able to speak in dog chatter… “Don Don, why are you barking? No one cares. Shhh. Hello Fred. You look very handsome. Go away that was my flapjack. Snuggles time.”

I love snuggles time. Speaking of which.

From goldenstories.tumblr.com
From goldenstories.tumblr.com
August 2013 · Books · Holidays · Lists · Newspapers

Holiday Post 2013 #1: Literature Appreciation Post #3

Last year I did a list of books I was going to read on holiday, and I thought I’d do another. Incidentally, I published the To Kill a Mockingbird fan fiction just last week (this has been a great year for getting stuff done, huh). So, this year I’m reading:

  • We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

It’s my ‘heavy and disturbing’ holiday read – last year’s was Trainspotting – and I’m excited/nervous to read it. Nervous because I’ve seen the film, which is, to use technical language, fucking creepy. I also loved Ezra as Patrick in Wallflower, and although he’s a good enough actor that when I was watching him as Kevin I wasn’t thinking of him as Patrick, I’m not sure what my imagination will do. But I’m kind of excited because on the last day of term, my English teacher was talking to us about books we could read over the summer for our American literature coursework, and she actually suggested this. I’d already been planning on reading and maybe studying it, because I got the impression from the film that it’s more about the American Dream and/or family life than it is about grisly murder. I’ll let you know what the nightmares are like.

  • The Candy Machine: How Cocaine Took Over the World by Tom Feiling

I started this about four years ago, and it was pretty intense because it’s a factual account of the cocaine industry. I now know where Columbia is, though, so I’ll give it a bash…

From Bookworld.com.au
From Bookworld.com.au
  • The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

I actually have to read this for English. It might not be Gatsby but as long as it’s not a textbook, I’m good with it.

  • Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell

Jay and I agreed to read one another’s book recommendations – I told him to give Wallflower another go – and I started this. Again.

I will finish it.

  • The last couple of issues of Private Eye

Because of this:

From TheDrum.com
From TheDrum.com

I’m not actually taking anything else because I want to do some writing over the holiday. Some meditative consideration of the universe and whatnot. Plus, someone’ll have shitty magazines to read and I want to buy the Financial Times at the airport.

COFFEE · Holidays · Indifferent Ignorance · Internet · July 2013 · My Family and Other Animals · School *choke*

The Tentative Return of Rambling Posts

I must say, I’ve quite missed Sunday blogging. There’s nothing like sitting amongst Saturday’s mess with a mug of coffee and half-hatched weekend plans, writing nonsense and posting it on the Internet for your friends to read. Although it’s been a while since I’ve sat amongst Wednesday’s mess and written to you all, actually, or Monday’s mess, or Friday’s… I’m not even sure when to start a new paragraph, if I’m honest.

Let’s do it now and start another straight away for kicks.

It’s been a while since I’ve been properly focussed on Indifferent Ignorance, and she’s starting to feel like the spare room in our house that my brother just moved out of in favour of better lights and warmer radiators. Not that her lights were faulty – and I like to think she’s always been cosy – but she’s feeling as though she has that unique spare-room quality of dusty door frames, dead flies on the windowsills and stuff that never quite got sorted out. It’s probably my own fault; partway through what was proving to be a crap year I thought “let’s give her a facial and buy some customisation tools from WP”, not realising that I was fast losing my money, my time and my will to do anything except play with Fred and Donnie. So as I lost motivation, she lost her once-frequent updates and here we are four months later with my first post in a fortnight and a serious need to open an Internet window.

Now, though, things are slowing down. I only have two pieces of homework to do (and a shitload of extra-curricular and/or exam-based admin, but we’ll take that slowly) and when we go out later to celebrate Ellen’s birthday I won’t be stewing over my Psychology coursework in a corner, because that was last weekend at a different birthday celebration. By the last academic year’s standards, I’m basically on holiday. Which I actually will be soon!

I’ve been concentrating on a lot of different things lately, from school to physiotherapy to my lack of post-school plans to trying to find some sort of job that doesn’t involve retail or administration (hint: there are none) because it was sitting and typing and pressing cash machine-like screens that made me need physio in the first place… I’ve been getting so frantic that writing that sentence actually made my heart rate increase. And if I’ve learnt one thing this year it’s that short-term stress is good but long-term stress is bad. I’ve also learnt that Islamic fundamentalism was started by an Egyptian teacher who went to the US and basically pulled a Holden Caulfield, but I think that’s an anti-racism rant for another day.

I just went downstairs to take a photograph of Sprout for this post, but he’s looking very much like my mum got a bit overenthusiastic when she was watering the plants so I think it’ll wait until he is restored to his former glory. I should also make a start on clearing Saturday’s mess, which is nearing the ‘health and safety issue’ end of the untidy spectrum. So, hopefully there will not be another two weeks between posts – I’ve had two or three in my head or in draft form for a while that I just need to write, goddamn it – but the weather’s been so pretty that they might have to wait for me to get bored of sunshine.

In which case nothing I do on the Internet has any hope of being worked upon.

August 2011 · Holidays · Internet · My Chemical Romance (get a category)

England Makes Your Tan Drown Itself in a Puddle.

Kalispera!

To those of you who were eagerly awaiting the mini-series ‘I’m Somewhere Hot and You’re Probably Not’ (let’s face it, all of you), I apologise; I pressed the wrong buttons in a fit of pre-holiday excitement. Everything in the series will, however, find its way into various blogs in the future. An upside of the site being static for a fortnight is that the Content Monster seems to have gotten bored and left us alone. That or it’s gone to Marbella for a break.

I can hear you all asking, “How was Greece, Francesca?” It was, in short, excellent. Efharisto to my extended family and everyone in Alykanas for the laughs.

Thank you also to Isobel for vandalising part of the shipwreck in Navagio Bay, one of my favourite places.

Now, on with the show. Remember I talked about a huge ten-years-of-My Chem celebration? Well, watch this place – and my Twitter. I’m going to need your help on it. Yes, you, who idly searched an MCR-related term and stumbled upon this site.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to celebrate a band whose members have such amazing t-shirt folding skills as Frank’s?

August 2011 · Internet · My Chemical Romance (get a category)

In Which I Remind You I Can Write Working Blogs

It’s been so long since I’ve sat down and decided what to write that I can’t keep track of what I have and haven’t waved in your faces. The WP Content-Eating Monster problem doesn’t help either.

However, never fear, because I’m going away late Saturday night for two whole weeks and we all know what that means: magically appearing, time-wasting posts and a book full of ideas when I get back, because I’ve spent fourteen days on a beach sleeping and tattoo-spotting! Both activities are excellent for getting those creative juice… Juicing.

Remember I mentioned doing something really special to celebrate My Chem’s ten-year anniversary? Well, I’m planning something pretty big that involves a lot of people (no, it is not a MCR karaoke sing-off, or a remake of Not Okay). I’ll probably finalise it while I’m away and then spend the rest of August nagging you all for imput.  Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

In the mean time, enjoy this:

Bite Your Tongue, by Chantal Claret. It sounds nothing like Morningwood and I love it.

In preparation of the stupidity:

 

I can’t work out if I love it or hate it.

Complaints · Holidays · Internet · Lists · March 2011 · Photogenius · School *choke* · THE WORLD *head in hands* · Zakynthos

Happy Wednesday.

  Apologies for the distinct lack of funny/Germany-related blogs, but I have had a pretty intense weekend and am still catching up on my beauty sleep. As you can tell, I need a lot of it:

 

  My camara ran out of juice a couple of times on the trip, so I need to raid some people’s Facebook pages and (this is a hint, guys) get some photos from my friends. You know what my email is. Once I’ve got enough stuff together I’ll work on a slide show or something – the only problem with this blog’s layout is the lack of space for photos. Either they’re too small to see or go in columns.

  Anyway, as we got to Berlin via aeroplane, have a looksie at some complaints made to Thomas Cook about holidays last season…

  • “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
  • “It’s lazy of the local shop keepers to close in the afternoons. I often need to buy things during the siesta times – this should be banned.”
  • “On my holiday to Goa, India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
  • “We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels,”
  • “The beach was too sandy.”
  • “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
  • “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
  • “We bought Ray Ban sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
  • “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
  • “There was no egg slicer in the apartment.”
  • “We went on holiday to Spain, and had a problem with the taxi drivers, as they were all Spanish…”
  • “The roads were uneven.”
  • “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, but it only took the Americans three hours to fly home.”
  • “I compared the size of our one bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment, and ours was significantly smaller.”
  • “The brochure stated ‘no hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers, will we be okay staying there?”
  • “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish, the food is Spanish, too many foreigners.”
  • “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
  • “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
  • “I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.”
  • “My fiancée and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
  • A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel ‘inadequate’.
  • A woman threatened to call the police after claiming that she had been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
  • A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping gravy at the time.

I have a few of my own to add:

  • Zakynthos, Greece: “The portions are too big. I am on a diet.”
  • Zakynthos: “The eggs are too strong.”
July 2010 · My Chemical Romance (get a category) · My Family and Other Animals · School *choke*

No More Pencils, No More Books, No More Teachers’ Dirty Looks

  We just said an emotional farewell to Fred, who is off to someone’s home while we go to Zante.  I couldn’t accompany him to exile, it would overwhelm me. Plus he moults a lot this time of year and frankly I don’t need him sitting on my lap for the journey.

  I’ve had a crappy few days (what is with people dying when you least expect it, even though it’s expected?) so the summer holidays haven’t really sunk in yet. I’ve been busy on eBay, buying Pugsley’s vintage tea set and teasing her about it, wrapping it up with love, care and fairy godmother dust. For such a smart person, Elizabeth, you are surprisingly easy to wind up. Open that box before the sixth and I will chain you to the inside of a bus. Underneath a chlamydia advert.

  While I’m in Zakynthos I’ll be video-blogging to keep busy, along with swimming, sleeping, trying to learn Greek and not think about impending funerals. Funeral. I sincerely hope no one else kicks the bucket. If they do, I am going to have a word with my karma. I do try to be nice to people.

  Unless I can wind them up about their crushes. Then, sorry, I will mercilessly take the piss out of them. It’s a tough habit to break.

  Have a good fortnight, lovely readers in front of your screens, I will hopefully blog from Zante while I’m there. Happy International My Chemical Romance Day for tomorrow… I firmly believe Frank’s last photo and album stuff will be released on the 23rd. For the record. I think I will go and watch Torchwood and avoid packing.

  Does anyone else like Jack’s dress sense? I feel the need to buy an expensive forties military coat, a silk waistcoat and a fob watch. Also a stopwatch.

Complaints · May 2010 · School *choke* · THE WORLD *head in hands*

I. Am. Not. A. Freaking. Genius.

  My mother embarked on holiday to Greece yesterday with my aunts and has left my dad, my brother and I to look after ourselves for a week. Can’t say I blame her.

  I was kind of dreading it because it’s a Duke of Edinburgh expedition on Saturday, and I have English coursework due in tomorrow that I really can’t do since my MP3 player is the most basic thing since unsliced bread and has less memory.

  Actually, it was all going okay until half an hour ago. I’ve sussed out the washing machine, I have a newfound appreciation of the dishwasher, I haven’t exploded anything and Maxim and I have both eaten. Then Dad decided I have to walk the dog. Don’t get me wrong, I love Fred, Fred is an amazing dude, but the way it goes is that I stop the washing from going mouldy, Maxim stops us from starving and Dad stops Fred from eating furniture by taking him on a walk.

  Oh no. Dad’s been at work all day (so have I) and it’s tough (so are high school French lessons and homework) and because Maxim has boxing, I get to walk Fred and clear his crap off the pavement . Regardless of the fact I cut open the back of my ankle on my shoes and need to work out how to get The Vote Now Show on my MP3 to transcript it in tomorrow’s English lesson.

  I don’t think Dad even knows I am taking GCSEs.

  I hope it’s raining in Zakynthos. Or that it’s too expensive to buy anything except fish heads.

  Happy belated Star Wars Day.