Making a Killjoy Jacket Part Three

17/05/2022 Francesca4 Comments

It’s been almost 18 months since I last posted about customising my jacket? What is time?! Anyway, it’s nearly done. For the purposes of Thursday’s ~~spiritual experience~~ Milton Keynes show, it is done. I want to add one or two more things, but we’ll get to that.

So, here and here are where I talk about finding a plain-ish, second hand, cigarette-y jacket back in… 2019. I don’t think MCR had even returned, I think I just liked the look of the thing… Anyway, in 2020 I added an Aglionby Academy patch, my Fun Ghoul patch (purchased circa 2012 haha) and the lovely Little But Fierce rose. I’m still pleased about how well the colours match with one another and the khaki. And this weekend I got more pleased, because…

PINK BEES.

Look how lovely they are! They’re from Batwalk. I’ve had my eye on them for months. Bees are great, they remind me of The Raven Cycle and summer and, you know, a working planet. All motifs I am happy to carry around.

I originally thought they might go on the back of the jacket, because I had a plan for a VERY LARGE patch which, upon measurement, would not fit. So I thought a couple of little bees might work well with some added floral patches? To be honest, I’d wanted to do bees and the VERY LARGE patch, but when I got the tape measure out it was a bit crowded. So I bought the bees and realised they’d look great on the empty front pocket and on the sleeve, covering the slightly-discoloured area where there was an original patch. I suppose it’s the rest of the jacket that’s slightly discoloured? Hmm. Anyway, I was going to sew MCR’s 2001-2013 mourning band on the sleeve, but I a) forgot to bring it to University City and b) it’s huge. Aimed at a large manly arm. I have teeny wee arms. So we’ll re-evaluate what I do with that… one day.

So, the bees went on. Look at them! Love a bee. Thing is, though, a day or so after I purchased them, I realised I was fixating on the LARGE PATCH. I’d also had my eye on it for months. I liked it a lot. I couldn’t commit to anything else, and when you’re going for a slightly hippie-goth look, really liked your original idea and have a budget of twelve pence, you don’t have a lot of choice. So I went back to Batwalk… and purchased:

khaki jacket with a black and white crystal-ball-and-hands back patch.

It’s huge. I love it. It’s also not as big as I thought! I iron-sewed it to the bottom of the jacket to avoid the hood covering it, and there’s enough space left below the hood for… something. I don’t know what, and I won’t find it between now and Thursday, so ideas on a postcard please! Something at the top might make the crystal ball look less wonky, too – it’s not actually wonky, I measured out the layout and the bottom of the patch is centred, but the hands and eye effect are a little dizzying. Hmmmm. We’ll see. The current design is not overtly MCR-themed, but if you get it, you get it. The jacket’s got great pockets too. Look at me, wearing the thing (thank you to T for taking a photo and proving I exist).

short lady with dark hair, wearing a black dress and patch-covered khaki jacket — Remind me to catch some sun this summer. Also I might hem this dress. What do you think?

So, here we are: one Danger Days-inspired jacket, eleven years after it was cool… but weirdly in time to be cool in a more general, strange alternative style way, going by the reactions to Foundations of Decay. I have had a lot of conversations recently in which being an MCR fan has elevated me in people’s estimations. Someone wrote a Guardian article the other day about MCR’s cultural significance. There’s a less-than-grudging mainstream respect for these weirdos now. I guess if you’re odd for long enough, eventually you become cool.

I’m off to prepare for Thursday. Need to rest my voice and do some preparatory stretches. Oh, while I’m here: commissions are open through end of May. Come and join us at the No. 1 Readers’ Club! And if you see me at Stadium MK, say hi.

Look after yourselves,

Francesca

Want to support this blog and/or enjoy exclusive access to stories and chatter from me? Join the No. 1 Reader’s Club on Patreon! Alternatively, use the button below for one-off support of as much or as little as you’d like (if you’d prefer, you can use PayPal or Ko-fi). If you’re into fairy tales and/or want a brief respite from reality, you can also buy my book, The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes, from most ebook retailers and as a paperback from Amazon. (That link’s an affiliate. Gotta scrape every penny from Bezos, you know?)

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(All Hail) Creation

The Poor Person’s Guide to Helping Your Favourite Authors

24/07/202125/07/2021 FrancescaLeave a comment

About a year ago I wrote a post about how you can help creators make money, without spending any of your own. I got to invent a character called Jiminy Snicket to use in examples, so I count it as a success regardless of the quality of the advice. I thought I’d do an updated post with authors in mind specifically, since that is my area of interest these days. Let’s say that our friend Jiminy Snicket, a year on, is a published author. It’s probably a poetry anthology, and they’ve probably illustrated it themselves…

Request their book from your local library

If it’s already available, borrow it. In the UK, authors can earn revenue when readers borrow their books from libraries. If Jiminy’s book isn’t in the catalogue, suggest the library purchases it. I do it all the time (not for my work. That would be embarrassing. I tend to request obscure YA novels and Nabokov. You guys can request my obscure YA novels for me. I’m not that desperate yet).

Engage with social media posts

This was on my original post, and still applies! Comments, shares and tagging-your-mates is good for feeding the Algorithm Gods and is also quite a nice mood boost for whoever’s running the social media account. Posting to the socials, especially when you have to do a certain number of promotional posts, can get repetitive and a little bit depressing. How many ways can you say ‘hey I’ve got a book out’ without boring your audience senseless? It’s hard to tell when the algorithm means that each follower might only see one of your posts every six months. Anyway. Put that screen time to good use! Engage with the social media channels for Jiminy’s publisher as well, if they have one, so the marketing team know that this is an author making waves in the, um, poetry anthology world.

Send work to friends who aren’t on the same channels as the creator

This still applies as well! Most authors have a presence on most platforms (Twitter, Insta and Facebook still seem to be the big ones), but not every reader has an account on those same platforms. Some people are even… deleting their social media in favour of doing something else.

Jerry from 'Tom and Jerry', eating an entire block of cheese — from Giphy

Also I’m told that The Youth are all on TikTok?

Gif of Jonny Rose saying 'Hash tag. Is that two words?' — from Giphy

By the way, if anyone wants to do some TikTok posts with my work, I’d appreciate it. I’m too ~~old~~ busy for another social media platform.

Anyway, yeah, word of mouth is still very much the name of the game with book sharing, whether the mouths are online or offline. Continuing with that:

Add their book to your wish lists or to-read lists

Most online retailers have an option to add a product to your wish list. Add Jiminy’s book to yours! According to a very quick search which I can’t link because writing this post took about two months: to-buy lists and reviews don’t impact a book’s ranking on Amazon (only sales will). But social sites, like Goodreads, suggest books to users based on what they have ‘shelved’ or what they have previously reviewed. So if you’ve read or want to read Jiminy’s anthology, add it to a list and it may be suggested to people who have read similar work.

All right, there we have it. Four easy peasy ways to do a good turn for the authors in your life! Truly I am a fountain of knowledge. I’m also off to watch the Olympics, so I will see you in the next one!

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(All Hail) Creation · Etsy

News, if you like stationery: I’m closing my shops on 1st September!

26/06/202124/06/2021 Francesca1 Comment

Hello! Big news today, if you are interested in very cool stationery and accessories: I am closing my shops on 1st September. I may reopen in December or January, depending on my workload. I’m juggling one too many plates, so I thought I’d put this one down before it smashes, aka something goes wrong in the Christmas season and I cry in the post office. So get your shopping in while you can, in case I don’t reopen!

I don’t currently have anything for sale in any local shops (although if anyone who runs a shop, especially in the Southend area, wants to stock some pieces, give me a shout!). It’s all available on Folksy or, if you prefer, Etsy (item prices are the same in both shops; international postage is a little cheaper on Folksy because of how fees work). There’s 20% off a lot of items at the moment, so grab those pieces while you can! My last mailing day will be 31st August.

Give me a shout if you have any questions! Here is a selection of what’s available:

card reading 'I would die for you at Ragnarok I mean, we're all going to die at Ragnarok, but it's the thought that counts'

blue pencils with silver inscription reading 'STUDY LIKE ATHENA'

Pink feminist definition print by Francesca's Words

yellow on black print reading 'cupcakes and cauldrons'

person modelling tote bag reading 'forget the gym... carry textbooks.'

blue notebook with words 'can't read my handwriting? Make your own notes'

Here’s the link to my Folksy, hint hint, and to my Etsy, hint hint…

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(All Hail) Creation · School *choke*

Roasting My High School Work 10-ish Years Later

11/06/202111/06/2021 FrancescaLeave a comment

Last year I found a couple of huge boxes full of my notes from year seven through to year thirteen. Which was quite a lot of years ago. I burnt a lot of it on Halloween and Bonfire Night – seemed appropriate – then recycled the rest when I realised that I’d be there forever. I kept a few pieces that made me laugh. Today I thought, it’s a billion degrees out and I don’t like football, so let’s go through them and take the piss!

Year Seven: History

Turns out I got started in witches quite early. I actually remember making this with another student, in one of the first collaborative projects of year seven. Excellent work enlarging the text box, there…

ancient sugar paper called 'Extracts from a Diary of a "Witch"'

I think we got good marks, though. The inside of the diary is long since lost but those cardboard-and-sugar-paper lasted well!

Year Eight: English & Science

Handwriting reading 'It's a good memory moment but you're not really directing the scene - you need to think about the techniques we used in lesson and also use your imagination! Try and do something original!'

Hahahahahaaaaaaaaa

If memory serves, that teacher is the one I part-dedicated The Princess and the Dragon to (she taught my classes again in sixth form). I might frame this piece. Coincidentally, year eight was the year a friend and I discovered the nuances of Word Art:

Am still miffed they chucked out Pluto.

Year Nine: French & Fan Fiction

piece of badly written French homework, featuring Frank Iero of My Chemical Romance & Leathermouth

Ah, year nine. I was so, so shit at French. I remember my teacher doing an oral assessment and saying ‘your accent is very good but you don’t… know any words.’ Psh, whose fault was that? I maintain that I was useless at modern foreign languages because language classes should focus on conversation and communication, not learning to listen to a tape of a stilted robot-esque ‘exchange.’ Top marks to little me for the MCRmy rep, though.

Speaking of fandom… I’m including this next one here because although my fan fiction days were already mostly behind me by this point, I feel like it would have taken a while for me to file it all. I’m not sure who I’m talking to. Future me? The fan fiction police?

paper reading 'Fan Fiction Also published on www.fanfiction.net. This folder contains nothing MCR-related. Neither does my fanfiction.net.'

Possibly everything said or done concerning fan fiction before the age of 16 should be pardoned, no questions asked.

Year Ten: Media Studies

Year ten was when Danger Days was unleashed unto the world. I immediately set about analysing it for my Media GCSE coursework. A*, my dudes, thank you for asking. I’d have been great at Media at A Level but I didn’t like the teachers, so I did essay subjects and didn’t like myself instead.

notes in text boxes around a cover of LIAR analysis and text around the cover of My Chemical Romance's album Danger Days: the True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys'

LIAR analysis and text around the cover of My Chemical Romance's album Danger Days: the True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys'

LIAR analysis and text around the back cover of My Chemical Romance's album Danger Days: the True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys'

photo of some notes and a scan image of the back of My Chemical Romance's 'Danger Days: the True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys'

Photographs of My Chemical Romance members, merchandise and their album covers, and a list of their bibliography, labels, A&R and history up to 2011

Year Eleven: Nothing

I clearly was not effing around with my studies in 2011-12, because I didn’t deem a single piece of work from year eleven funny or ridiculous enough to keep. I can’t remember much of year eleven if I am being honest. I think I took three science subjects at GCSE. I definitely took Religious Studies. Mmm. And maths? I remember a maths exam. What a time that was, sitting in a hall with hundreds of other students, breathing on one another…

Year Twelve: Depths of Hell

handwriting with the words 'Some Fuckin' Essay'

handwritten paper about interview technique, most of which is terrible advice

These collectively sum up my feelings toward year twelve and my life at the time. I am still furious about the ‘I am a package, and I must be shinier than all the packages’ advice we were given. They had an external careers advisor come in and offer advice. Some of her wisdom was good, but a) she made my friend cry with bolshy questions about our career choices, and b) she used three shampoo bottles to illustrate the jobs market. One shampoo was just a bottle. One had a bow on? And one had all this plastic cellophane and glitter and shit. She wanted us to choose which was the best. They were the same brand, so I thought ‘regular non-cellophane shampoo, because who pays for all that glitter crap that you cut off before you use the shampoo? You don’t, unless you’re shopping for a gift.’ That was the wrong answer, because job candidates are objects that must look better than all the other objects.

It might have been bubble bath, now I think on it. It might have been a different year, too. It’s irritated me for a good six or seven years, though. Fucking terrible advice regardless of the toiletry product. Comb your hair, read up on the job description and make eye contact. That’s all you need to do to make a good impression at an interview, sweeties. Promise. Well, don’t be a shitbag to the interviewer. Maybe make sure you’re qualified for the role, unless you’re a white man who’s good at bullshitting.

Right, next up:

A friend and I did this retelling of The Picture of Dorian Gray. We were quite proud, if I remember correctly. We had the most lovely teacher, who really wanted us to know that she knew the book was Extremely Gay and that she was okay with it. She used the word ‘homoerotic’ in class so often that we started keeping a tally. I think the record was twenty uses in an hour, because she’d done that thing where you get stuck on a word? Sometimes we’d segue into conversations about Ancient Greek wrestling and, if I remember correctly, body oil. A Levels are a ride.

Does anyone else remember when we had Old Labour and New Labour? Do you remember who Ed Miliband is?

photograph of paperwork and tables of information about Ed Miliband and David Cameron

Year Thirteen: Own Work

I didn’t keep any school work from year thirteen – I got a bit of a stomach ache just thinking about that time, to be honest. I thought sixth form was The Worst Time in My Life, a Literal House Fire, for ages, but then 2019 and 2020 happened, and now it only seems like a small house fire. Tell you what, I’m owed a good year.

Anyway, here is the time I marked a piece of MCR research I did. I don’t know if any of you will remember the MCRmy Census Project (my first piece of big research!) from circa 2012-2014. I collected a bunch of info from MCR fans, collated it into graphs and commentated on it, printed it out all nicely, then mailed it to Gerard Way. I spelt ‘ethnography’ incorrectly on the front cover. I think I finished it in year thirteen or thereabouts. Some time later, I went through with a red pen and graded myself. I can’t remember why, but it turned out to be good practise for book editing. And my return to academia. I sound way bitchier than my college teacher did in any of her feedback, ha.

printed paper with handwritten scribbles

Have you kept any of your old school work? Was any of it as ridiculous as the pieces I dragged out?

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(All Hail) Creation · Books · dragonnovel

Psst, Paperback Edition of The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes Available Now!

22/04/202122/04/2023 Francesca11 Comments

Surprise! My baby is now available in corporeal form. A few weeks ago I asked on social media how people feel about audiobooks versus physical books (you guys were unanimous, physical it is). I’ve been wanting to test the waters for a print copy for a while, not least because my Ultimate Dream is to have a iridescent, map-on-the-front-pages, probably-linen-bound hardcover. With a little ribbon for keeping your place. You know the type of book I mean: the type that is a work of art.

Anyway, those are expensive and since I’m self published, I’d have to figure out some sort of pre-order system to gauge demand before committing to a print run. I don’t fancy being stuck with books I can’t sell, even if they are linen bound with a ribbon. So I thought, let’s do the smart thing and have a sort of soft opening using Amazon’s print on demand system.

I’m pretty sure I’ve bitched about Amazon on here before, but if I haven’t: it’s an unholy trinity of bad packaging, ethically questionable business processes and is at least partially responsible for the devaluation of the book industry.

Unfortunately for the high street but fortunately for my bank balance, Amazon does print on demand really well. It took me about half an hour to upload my files, less than 72 hours for Amazon to check the details and tah-dahhh. You can now order a paperback of the world’s best YA fairy tale. It cost me zero pounds, because I downloaded a Photoshop trial to design a back cover and spine. The book is priced exactly as the ebook at £7.99 (well, it is until Bezos discounts it to 89p). I will make about £2 on each copy, assuming they sell at full price, so I need to sell about a thousand copies to afford a posh hardback. Less if I’m willing to put all the money toward the hardback, but I’m quite invested in earning a wage. This is probably a good time to mention that after 11.5 years of blogging, I’ve joined the Amazon Affiliate programme with the strict goal of scraping every last penny from this paperback as I can… the links in this post are all affiliated. I think a lot of you would have to click and buy for me to hit the minimum payment threshold of £25, though, ha.

Anyway, I am already in profit, because a few members of the No. 1 Readers’ Club have bought some copies (this is why you should join the No. 1 Readers’ Club). I haven’t forgotten about doing a quarterly income round up, by the way! The last quarter ended a few weeks ago but I have diploma work to finish, so I’ll probably get the post done in a month or so. My ebook royalties aren’t in, so it’ll be a short post.

As with the ebook, I’ll be paying it forward with three copies: if you or someone you know wants a copy but cannot afford it, hit me up and I’ll order you a copy to to your mailing address. I’m also doing a giveaway right here on this very blog! To win a signed copy of The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes, comment on this post and tell me your favourite fairy tale or folk tale. Mine changes all the time, but Femlore Pod recently did an episode on Lieutenant Nun, who is fascinating. The contest ends on 30th April at 11:59pm BST, it’s open internationally, and I’ll pick a winner at random the next day.

Oh, one last thing:

If and when a hardcover run becomes a reality, I may pull this particular paperback. Ideally, one day I’d like this book to have a permanent home with a publishing house that can do hardcover, paperback, audiobook et al and handle all the logistics (and ensure that Amazon is not the only paperback retailer). That would mean a different ISBN, different blurb and spine and whatnot. So there’s a distinct possibility that in twenty years’ time, this particular Amazon offering will be like first printings of MCR’s first record: rare and sold on eBay for inflated prices. That’s actually already happening to an extent; the book’s been live for a week and someone’s already selling ‘used’ copies at a premium. What they’re actually doing is drop shipping: buying new copies and sending them straight to the customer, because they are [censored because it’s too rude even for this blog]. Anyway, if you’d like to be a part of history, just saying, the book is here.

ebook and paperback mockup for 'The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes' by Francesca Astraea — Much love to my cousin Ellen for taking *The Princess and the Dragon*‘s first ever shelfie!

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(All Hail) Creation · My Chemical Romance (get a category)

Making a Killjoy Jacket Part Two

22/01/202121/01/2021 Francesca2 Comments

I was under the impression I’d already done a sequel to this post, but I’ve clearly made far less progress on my killjoy jacket than I thought I had. The MCR show I’m making it for is meant to be in June, but I’m pretty sure it won’t happen. Part of me wants another year to get fit enough to dance for 90 minutes and decide what I’m going to put on the back of the jacket, even without the ongoing worry of Covid and vaccinations and which tier I’m in (I can’t remember, I’m assuming it’s a bad one).

Anyway, the jacket. It needs a back piece! I could sew on a large patch or I could stencil something? I’m not good enough an artist to freehand it. There are some nice larger patch designs available online that I might save up for. BUT THAT IS FOR ANOTHER DAY. Here is the progress I’d made in June, adding an Aglionby Academy patch and a Fun Ghoul patch:

dark green New Look jacket with My Chemical Romance patch and The Raven Cycle patch

Here is the progress I’ve made since June:

Yes, it’s only one pocket patch. It is a very large patch, though. Shout out to Jayne at Tickle and Thread on Folksy for being so helpful when I Instagram messaged her about restocking the design I was after! I’m so pleased with the contrasting yellow/khaki colours. It’s also matchy matchy with the Fun Ghoul patch. I’m not sure what will go on the other pocket. Maybe something else book-inspired, or maybe something tarot-y. I’ve seen some lovely little designs inspired by Greek mythology. Hmmm.

In the mean time, I have a conundrum regarding something I already know I want to add:

This quite large mourning band came with… a CD. Presumably May Death Never Stop You? I can’t remember. Obviously it would go perfectly on the left jacket sleeve, which is where mourning bands traditionally go unless the internet has lied to me (what a thought). It would now of course be delightfully ironic.

Had I purchased it, though, I’d have bought one that fit my arm instead of the arm of the Average Man, which I think is who this one is designed for. My initial plan was to stitch it around the arm of the jacket, but it’s so big! Should I cut it shorter to sew it on? Or sew on the design part of the patch first and then wrap the rest of the fabric to fit?

Sewers of the universe, lend me your opinions. I definitely have a while to decide how to do it, but it’s nice to have little goals in lockdown… once I’ve proceeded with whatever I choose, I’ll take another full photo. I might even – but don’t quote me – be in the picture, wearing the jacket. We’ll see what my hair’s doing then.

Look after yourselves!

Francesca

Want to support this blog and/or enjoy exclusive access to stories and chatter from me? Join the No. 1 Reader’s Club on Patreon! Or we could just get coffee? If you’re into fairy tales and/or want a brief respite from reality, you can also buy my book, The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes, from most ebook retailers.

(All Hail) Creation · Art · Books · dragonnovel · Tim Minchin

2020 Has Not Been Completely Shit and Here is Definitive Proof

28/12/202009/01/2021 FrancescaLeave a comment

You heard me. I’d normally consider doing the Indifferent Ignorance awards, but I don’t feel like dedicating time to ignorant people… they are the reason I spent Christmas Day in tier 4. I’m also mindful that it’s important to count our blessings, not our curses, so in this post I’m going to share some of my favourite entertainment and arts discoveries of the year, plus a few personal/family highlights.

Things that blessed my ears in 2020

Lauv’s record, which I bought a copy of back in February or so, and kind of became the sound track to early lockdown.
Tim Minchin’s record. It’s… not his usual stuff. Some of the songs are sharp and sarcastic, but if you’re looking for more black comedy-philosophy, this album will disappoint. It’s mostly about how much he loves his wife and children. I cried.
The news my friend Tatchiana applied for a Master’s degree. MY FRIENDS ARE SO CLEVER YOU GUYS. I don’t even fully understand the topic she’s researching.
The Umbrella Academy put a soundtrack out and:

Klaus Hargreeves dancing in a liquor store — from Giphy

As well as re-entering the world of academia, Tatchiana introduced me to the Magnus Archives podcast and I guess I’m a fan of horror stories now? I’m kind of late to the party because it’s been running for years and finishes in 2021, but if you like a) creepy stories with the odd god that’s gross and really clever moment, b) short stories that slowly merge into one overarching Story and c) office politics, you’re in for a good time. (Aside: I realised partway through that Martin really reminds me of Arthur from Cabin Pressure. The programmes have nothing in common except that they’re audio, but I can’t unhear it. I don’t know if there’s a Venn diagram of Magnus Archives/Cabin Pressure listeners but if there is: do you hear it too?)

Things that blessed my eyeballs in 2020

I finally got around to reading the Noughts and Crosses series (or most of the series? There seems to be more books than I realised), and it is Very Worth the Hype. So’s the TV show.
I also got round to Imaginary Friend by Stephen Chbosky. It’s very long and a horror novel – this is a theme – both of which usually put me off, but I really got into it. Brilliant last page too.
Bill Bailey in Strictly Come Dancing.
The news that my cousin and her boyfriend bought a house! A whole entire property in this economy. Epic.
Real Life Money by Clare Seal. It’s a memoir-advice book by the lady who runs the My Frugal Year Instagram, and it’s really interesting. If you’re at all into finance, money management and/or consumerism, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I don’t usually love memoirs, or advice-y novels, but this one is non-preachy, well researched and quite important in these uncertain times.

If you want to buy any of these books, by the way, I have a Bookshop account. Every purchase made through my little page earns me one fifth of a penny or suchlike. Am I being shameless? Um yeah, I don’t have a regular job as of Christmas Eve. I’m also on Goodreads if you want to see what else I’m reading and chat about books. One upside of lockdown was spending so much time reading and I am already planning my reading list for next year. So many books, so little time! Speaking of books, the prettiest thing I saw this year was:
My book coverrrrrrr. Also, you know, seeing the book available to purchase. I wasn’t sure it was going to be released this year – or ever – and I’m a tiny bit proud of the work that went into it. Not bad going for someone who spent their A Levels wearing a wrist brace and their early-mid twenties dealing with chronic pain, crippling anxiety and on-again-off-again depression, huh.

blue and white illustrated cover of 'The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories of Unlikley Heroes' by Francesca Burke, including stars, a large dragon, a skull, moon, swords, a rabbit and a tower — Cover by Nell from Instagram. Click here for book-related joy/info

Things that blessed my ears and my eyeballs in 2020

The second series of The Umbrella Academy. I love it. I love it so much. It has everything I want out of TV, plus a Baby Pogo. TRULY WE ARE BLESSED.
Videos by A Small Wardrobe on YouTube (I talk more about Patricia’s channel and learning about minimalism here).
Videos by Annie, who posts as the Green Witch on YouTube. Sometimes the algorithm suggests videos that you didn’t know you needed. Annie has a witchy YouTube and a nature-y YouTube. They are both very peaceful. Taking 10 minutes to watch calm, nature-y has turned out to be quite good for my brain.
In the same vein, I’m thoroughly enjoying videos by The Cottage Fairy.
Olive and Mabel.
Schitt’s Creek. I know I know, I was late to that too. I cannot recommend a more soul-warming programme. Other TV I’m brilliantly late to: Derry Girls, Nighty Night, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Ghosts.

What have you enjoyed in 2020? You’re allowed to say banana bread and Netflix. You’re allowed to say ‘realising that the friend I checked in with during lockdown never checked in with me, and now I am disengaging.’ You’re allowed to say ‘not having a big, overwhelming Christmas.’ What are you planning for new year’s eve?

GIF of David from 'Schitt's Creek' saying 'I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit and falling asleep early.'

Jut kidding, mostly. I’ll probably have a bath, pour a wee drink, watch the clock to ensure this hellscape actually ends, and get my beauty sleep. I’ve got things to do in 2021! Nothing ostentatious, of course. My plans are mostly to read a lot and maybe bake some more banana bread. But I may as well do them on a full night’s sleep, especially as there is literally nowhere to go. I’ll talk more about that (my plans, not tier bloody 4) in my next post. Probably.

Look after yourselves and happy new year!

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(All Hail) Creation · Books · dragonnovel

So ‘The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes’ is out as an ebook. Behold, my guide for getting a free copy!

23/12/202022/04/2023 Francesca2 Comments

Oi oi! So you remember all the posts about writing and/or pitching The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes? I try not to either. Anyway, THE EBOOK IS OUT NOW. You can purchase it from all the usual retailers and leave gushing reviews on GoodReads, etc. etc. If you’re not doing anything else – and you probably shouldn’t be doing anything else, especially if, like me, you have been shunted into Tier 4 for Christmas – I’m hosting a Facebook Live release party today (23rd Dec) at 19:30 GMT. I’ll be doing some readings, answering questions and chatting about the writing and publishing process.

Before tonight’s release party (yeah, I’m calling it a party. It’s 2020, I can call a conversation with a friend who’s standing six metres away ‘a party’), I wanted to take a moment to pop in here and say HI, I DID SOMETHING I’VE TALKED ABOUT FOR YEARS. It feels sort of important to say that, both for my own self esteem and for this blog’s narrative purposes. I also want to share a list of ways you can access this ebook for free, because I am mindful that the economy, whichever country you’re in, is… not fantastic. Although the RRP of the ebook is £7.99, and most retailers have it discounted already, I know that lots of you will have other, more practical, uses for that money. So here’s a little guide for getting hold of this novel without spending a penny:

Borrow it from libraries

At time of writing, the only library app it’s available on is ProQuest. I’m keeping a list of retailers and library services, plus links, on my fancy website. My supplier sent a list of all the vendors that will host it, but it can take up to six weeks for the book to load on all of them, so I’m checking in weekly to update my list. But if you’re a school/college/uni student, you will likely find you have a login to one or more of these library services. They’re often designed for reading academic texts, but I think we can agree that The Princess and the Dragon benefits everyone’s mental health by providing four to five hours of respite from reality, which will in the long term help with your studies.

Join my blog tour

If you’re a book blogger, YouTuber, Instagrammer, etc., I am embarking on a book tour in the new year and into spring. Anyone who joins gets access to a free copy via an Advanced Reader Copy website (I am aware that now the book is out, the copy is not in fact ‘advanced’, ha). If you’re interested in being part of the tour, hit me up at info [at] francescaburke [dot] com with links to your blog/YouTube/Instagram.

Pay It Forward

I am kicking off a pay it forward experience! Is experience the word? Here’s how it works: I have some money left over from the publishing process. I will pay for three of you to purchase The Princess and the Dragon from the retailer of your choice (send me a link to the retailer so I know how much money to send. The prices are weirdly different on each site). It’ll be via PayPal or bank transfer, your choice. In an ideal world, all three of you pay for someone else to purchase the novel, and then those three people pay for three more people… but this world is not ideal, so if you can’t afford to pay it forward (I did say this was a guide on getting the book for free), I don’t mind in the slightest. Perhaps one of my other readers might like to hop in and buy a copy for someone else?

If you’re interested in pay it forward, leave a comment with your email address, or private message me on Twitter/Insta/Facebook! Now I am going to share the cover (because I am never not going to share the cover) and get organised for this evening. I’m not one hundred per cent sure which passages I’m reading yet. SUCH FUN. Look after yourselves!

cover of The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories by Francesca Astraea

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