Movies · October 2015 · Videos

Happy Back to the Future Day feat. 2015 is boring

I was born in 1995, not 1989, so I’ve only had 20 years to get ready for Back to the Future day… or 10 years or so if you consider that until my parents showed my brother and I the films, we hadn’t a clue what a DeLorean was. It still flipping crept up though! Like I swear ten minutes ago it was 2006 and I was planning to make a functional hover board in time for this very day… the only things I’ve made since then have been acceptable grades and a Twitter account.

Still, you lot in your 30s upwards have no excuse. Where are the hover boards in the mass market? Why don’t my shoelaces ties themselves up? Why can’t my microwave rehydrate pizza?  And, most importantly, why the fuck is there no holographic Jaws 19? On reflection I shouldn’t complain too much, having seen the Jaws sequels they did do, and we’re getting Star Wars soon, which makes up for it all… In fact, with The Force Awakens, Bush versus Clinton, Jurassic Park, and Terminator, there’s probably not a lot of point bemoaning the lack of self-tying laces, because aside from letting the gays get married and Universal growing a sense of humour, shit doesn’t seem to have changed for 30 years.

And on that note, I have to go write an article about Halloween. Enjoy today, snowflakes, because when you show your grandchildren the trilogy they’re going to freak out that you were alive in 2015…

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