Books · Patreon Reviews · September 2015

Review: ‘Holy Cow’, David Duchovny

Polite notice: I don’t discuss anything in these reviews that isn’t available from blurbs and articles, and they’re more like recommendations than reviews in the same way that Tony Blair is better known as a contributor in the Iraq war than he is as an expert on international relations.

If I were at all spiritual, I would say that the universe is conspiring against me when it comes to reading Frankenstein, but I’m not so I’ll just say that it’s a minor life goal to finish the book. Since it’s been nearly two months since I last did a review, this is mostly here to remind myself that I’m capable of long-term projects (a skill I’m clearly going to need where Frankenstein‘s concerned) than it is to extort money from my patrons… I don’t have any patrons, so I could review twice a week without bankrupting people, but in the spirit of things it is probably smarter to stick to my original plan.

I’ve just finished – as in, this lunchtime – David Duchovny’s debut, Holy Cow. Duchovny’s mostly known for acting, and the novel started as an idea for an animated film screenplay. For what it’s worth I wouldn’t have seen the movie by itself, because it’s about a cow named Elsie who discovers what happens to cows when they reach prime rib status (you’re welcome). Elsie goes on a quest to not get eaten, and makes friends with a pig and a turkey on the way. She tells the whole story as a memoir, and she has a human agent through which she is sharing her adventures with the human world.

It’s completely bananas and doesn’t even pretend to be plausible (if it wasn’t for meat farm references and swearing pigs it would make a brilliant children’s animal adventure film), but there are a lot of nuggets of wisdom here and there – for example the entire Israel/Palestine conflict is explained in a paragraph. If you’re interested in vegetarianism, talking animals and philosophy that’s woven into farce, go for it… but maybe not when you’re in the middle of a beef sandwhich.

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5 thoughts on “Review: ‘Holy Cow’, David Duchovny

    1. I actually have no memory of his non-novel work, although I vaguely recognised his name. The book is really strange, but it’s a fun read. 🙂


      1. He’s an actor – he was in the X Files a gazillion years ago and his interviews have always been entertaining and a bit weird. I think he’s half Scottish which might explain the sense of humour 😉


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