August 2015


This morning I was going to Tweet ‘it’s that time of year again when you wake up to spiders on your headboard and can’t make your bed when it moves under your mattress.’ I’m glad I didn’t, because later on this morning I  decided to grow up and make the bed, only to see said spider crawling over my pillow.

Mum and I attempted Spider Eviction via the window, which is usually fine. We are old hands at Spider Eviction, and although it was a big daddy long legs and thus required two people (especially since one of them was me), we went got to the window and threw the spider out… only for some of its legs to get caught on the glass and come off. Onto my pillow. While the rest of the spider tumbled to what I presume was its death, given that it had just lost several limbs and was probably in too much shock and pain to spin itself a web or crawl onto the house.

I only wanted it off my bed – I don’t mind them in the corners of ceilings, because they keep the flies and gnats away. But it was crawling over where I sleep and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was on a mission to meet the one that recently moved into the ceiling of the bathroom – what if they sojourned on my bed? While I was in it? – plus I’ve been hallucinating spiders since I read this article. So it needed to move out. Except now it’s at best legless and at worst a spider corpse, and I still haven’t made my bed because I need to change the pillow case because of the legs.

Thank god I didn’t live Tweet the whole thing.


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