Funny · Internet · March 2012 · Scriptures · Videos

‘My Immortal’: The Worst Fan Fiction You Will Ever Read… And It’s Not Even About Real People. Much.

We’ve all read stories that are so thoroughly crap that we can’t quite believe somebody sat down and wrote them, let alone had it in them to publish them. My Immortal, a Harry Potter fan fiction, is onesuch piece. I can’t describe its awfulness, although some people can. And some people… Can do dramatic readings.

Wear headphones, and pace yourself.






I actually haven’t read the whole story, republished here after it got banned by FFN for being so crap, but even before Isobel sent me the link to the above (I love you, little sister), I was planning on spending a good portion of summer wading through the whole car crash.

Wish me luck.


4 thoughts on “‘My Immortal’: The Worst Fan Fiction You Will Ever Read… And It’s Not Even About Real People. Much.

  1. Yes. Good one. And we can also have “I battle test papers and hoard ibuprofen.” as well as a special Morocco one “Look at all those American Camels” Because, i’ll name them after the states.

    I ache – I’ve spent all day practising and trying to remember Seiunchin. It’s not working. I get the first 15 moves or something. From there, i have to consult my printout of the steps, and work out what it all means, and what i have to do with that.

    Kill me now. Especially as i have 10 days in Morocco to practise too. I’ll make Jemma practise with me. And maybe Natalie. Or at least yeach her Taikyoku Jodan in full, or Getsuidai Ichi. I have no idea if the spelling is right on the last two.


    I don’t want to do team kata with THEM. They have no sense of rhythm, timing or style. Or Femininity. Like we have. All they care about is technique and sounding loud.

    I want to do it with you and Ellen instead.

    XXXX 😀


    1. I love how you capitalised ‘femininity’.

      You clearly weren’t paying attention to Ellen and I in the corner this week. There was absolutely nothing feminine about the faces I was pulling.

      Print outs are a nice idea, actually.


  2. I’m sorry, But we HAVE to start a band called Voldemort and the Death Deelers! And our chorus in all of the songs HAS to be VOLFEMORT HAS BONDAGE!!!

    I’m cracking up as i type this – i just ate a choc philly bagel and am watching Waterloo Road….. It’s all very dramatic – the TV that is, nt the bagel, although that was good.

    This programme amazes me – there are actually schools with people in, that despite not aging at all, can’t read! How can people NOT read?????

    And, relating to this blog (it’s all very good how these all link really. I didn’t even plan it), people can’t write or read over their own work.

    It makes a good read though…. i never knew there were so many ways to spell Ebony, and even more in how to say it. And NOBODY GIVES A SHIT WHAT SHE I*S WEARING.

    I don’t have much to talk about. There is stuff i could, but it makes no sense, so i’ll save it for another day.

    Happy now Frank – you have a sub-blog, although not very long one.

    Oh, dear lord. There’s a schizophrenic guy, who has just decided to stuff everything the doctor said, and not take his meds because his mate said they couldn’t tell he was schizophrenic.


    Back to my immortal, i really hope it was written by a guy. What guy goes into that much detail about clothes. Still, whoever wrote it, can’t spell Virginity. Instead, Drago and i lost our virilty!!!!! wooooooooo…….

    That’s all. xx 😀

    p.s – I’m really freaked out – WordPress just set up some account for me on it’s own accord….


    1. Maybe it’s similar to a loyalty card/account, like the ones you get in Costa, because you comment so much.

      I haven’t watched ‘Waterloo Road’ properly since that episode where the school exploded, and reading what you’ve written I can remember why… Mini-‘EastEnders’, anyone?

      When we have our band, we’ll have a song called The Dramatic Bagel.


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