Internet · June 2011 · School *choke* · THE WORLD *head in hands*

“For You Ze War Ist Ovahh.” Wait, Wrong Moustached Dictator.

Francesca’s List of Ways to Revise the Cold War

  • Go and see the new X-Men film, which I’m told is about the Cuban Missile Crisis.
  • Read Watchmen. Alternate reality, psh. It involves American paranoia.
  • Watch Rocky IV. I think that’s the one with the blatant propaganda… And, sadly, Sylvester Stallone has more obvious surgery in this one. I miss his old face.
  • Hit the BBC Bitesize website’s Cold War videos. Ah, they are funny. Really.

What of the above list have I actually done? Technically, none of them. I’m up to the Berlin Wall on Bitesize, I forgot to get Watchmen out the library and I only thought of Rocky today.

  You’re welcome.

Ellen, people are giving me grief about those photos (this is the only way to reach you because I’m not on Facebook). Apparently Straightened Hair and Made Over Frank is, well, cooler than Everyday Dragged Through a Hedge Frank.

Colour · November 2010 · Photogenius · Pure Insanity · School *choke* · THE WORLD *head in hands*

What Do You Get if You Cross a Pig Torch, ‘Harry Potter’ and a Makeup Mirror? Punchline: Spotty Vision.

  I just scored nine out of nine on a higher tier BBC Bitesize Biology test, so I  decided to blog in celebration.

  Admittedly, I did cheat by doing the lower tier one first, but hey; you learn from your mistakes.

 In the name of revision and education, this afternoon I performed a very complex experiment incorporating Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, a makeup mirror and a torch shaped like a pig.

 

  How?

 Simple, really. The mirror goes on top of Harry Potter, I sit in front of the contraption and lean forwards, shining light in my eye as I do so. The radial muscles in my iris relax as a result of light exposure, but the circular muscles contract. The black hole that is my pupil gets smaller and less light gets in, damaging the retina (the bit at the back that looks like cracked earth imprinted on your vision after an eye test).

  If you take light away, the radial muscles contract and the circular ones relax, letting in more light so you can see. Rather cool, methinks. At least, I think I now know how to answer questions in the module; in the end-of-years last term we hadn’t covered the eye and I resorted to moving my glasses up and down thinking, ‘I can see, now I can’t… This must mean the answer is B.’

  NB: please don’t try this at home. I don’t want to be sued by angry parents for singed eyebrows (if you use a magnifying glass) and migraines.

  Now I’m off to revise for a Chemistry test in which the teacher will ask us approximately none of what she told us to learn.