Usually the news is an hour or five late because I have life stuff on – it’s rarely written early and it’s never been a week and a day early. What the hell am I supposed to write about? For all I know, Current Me is typing this in normal life but by 18th July 2014, normal life may be over due to a terror attack or accident or excellent event (why can I never think of examples of good stuff?) and Future Me might be living like a Killjoy (or not living at all which is a really fucking depressing thought). I usually make a point of ignoring The Outside World when I’m on holiday because I spend roughly 350 days per year attached to the Internet and my only other time off is Christmas.

So let’s look back.

In 0064 AD, according to DatesInHistory.com, Rome burnt while Emperor Nero played the violin. In 1536 the Pope was officially, ah, outed by the English so Henry VIII could get married. In 1830 Uruguay adopted its first constitution. In 1925 the first edition of Mein Kampf was published and in 1951 Uruguay “accepted its constitution”…

Let’s assume today has been just as lovely! Apparently the football World Cup will have been over by then… what’s the next thing? The Euro cup? The Olympics?

Eh I think Frank’s new album is out in August.