Fuckin' Idiots · Jesus · Pure Insanity · September 2013 · The Six O'Clock News · THE WORLD *head in hands*

Six O’Clock News: When the Pope is Less Offensive Than An Old White Man, We’re on the Right Track

Pope Francis Rejects Focus on Gays, Abortion

The Pope isn’t a tosser, which I’ve suspected for a while. In the last few years I’ve become increasingly worried that I’m turning into an atheist version of a fundamentalist [insert religion of your choice here]. The longer I take Politics the less faith I have in, well, pretty much everything, especially in a deity who lets children get gang raped or whatever.

But I try really hard to take every religious person I come across as they come, since religion’s just one part of a person and it does my head in when people judge me, and I’m really glad that the Pope feels the same. Now for the rest of the world!

MEP Bloom Loses Whip Over Joke
Bongo-Bongo Man can’t do his job anymore because he called half the electorate “sluts” today. Yay! Proof that UKIP aren’t just racists! It’s good to know exactly who they hate, eh?

Complaints · DISCUSS. · Fuckin' Idiots · Funny · Internet · July 2013 · Pure Insanity · THE WORLD *head in hands*

Question of the Week: Have You Ever Met a Militant Homosexual?

It’s heterosexual awareness month, and the question on everyone’s lips is:

“Have you ever met a militant homosexual? If so, leave a comment detailing your experience to help other victims of heterophobia come to terms with their traumatic experiences! If you feel that straight people have been discriminated against for too long, then put these posters up in and around your school or workplace!

Are you experiencing symptoms of homosexuality? Then just Google ‘homosexual cures’ and find yourself a nice 1990s-style website explaining how to rid yourself of these urges which you yourself have caused but can be cured if you part with quite a bit of cash!”

From HeteroAwarenessMonth.weebly.com
From HeteroAwarenessMonth.weebly.com
From TheNewCivilRightsMovement.com

DISCUSS. · Fuckin' Idiots · June 2013 · Pure Insanity · THE WORLD *head in hands*

Some Psychology Revision, A Mention of Glitter Paint and a Word on Feminism

There was a postcard in the Oxfam tent at Hay which read “DON’T VOTE… IT ONLY ENCOURAGES THEM”. It was interesting, considering that it was up there next to feminist witticisms and Oscar Wilde quotations on social change.

It was especially interesting considering the fact that this year – today, in fact – is one hundred years since Emily Davison ran in front of the King’s Horse at the Epsom Derby, while she was campaigning for women to be given the vote.

Even with the high-definition, Technicolor excellence that allows us to view Colonel Gaddafi getting executed  by Libyans and Syrians execute other Syrians and Simon Cowell’s eerily plastic face perfectly, it’s hard to imagine what that event must have been like. I mean, no one likes seeing the horses fall when they jump those hurdles at the Grand National or whatever, and no one likes seeing people get knocked to the ground unconscious. Wondering what the onlookers might have thought, and wondering what Emily might have thought as she dashed onto the track, makes me uncomfortable.

And now it can make you uncomfortable too! (From TheGuardian.co.uk)

Here’s the thing: violent events aren’t nice (if you want to dispute that, please go and find another website). Violent events that happened because of people campaigning for a cause are no better, although it helps if history remembers the cause as a worthy one. If, in time, it turns out that the minority group was right and that their perceived ‘extremist’ beliefs were actually the way forward in a modern democracy, then it can be possible to remember the violence with some pride mixed into the sadness.

I wasn’t going to talk about Woolwich because I haven’t come up with anything really scathing about the EDL, and I wasn’t going to talk about equal marriage because I’ve done that a few times already, and I’d like to save the glitter paint for when it’s finally legalised – I was going to link the suffragette movement with my Psychology revision about conformity… But while I’ve been writing this I’ve realised that the three events are in a way very similar.

Back in the day, the suffragettes were a bit of a terrorist group. They marched, they threw stuff, they may or may not have led a woman to suicide racetrack-ing.

In the present day, there are radicalised religious people who form quite serious terrorist groups. They preach, they attack random innocent people, they definitely lead people to suicide bombing.

Today, the House of Lords voted against screwing up the equal marriage bill. They debated, they got analysed on Twitter, they registered their vote.

There are women in the Lords, as there are in the House of Commons (not nearly enough in a ‘representative democracy’, mind you, but that’s for another post). There are women, in this country, who elected the members of the Commons. There are women, in this country, who are allowed to register their vote in every type of public election and there are women in other countries who are living with violence and war in the hope that they – along with men, in some cases – will one day be allowed to vote as part of a democracy.

From TheTimes.co.uk

Whether or not Emily Davison had any impact on the UK’s democratic freedoms might be debatable but, I’m sorry Oxfam, the idea that we should use those freedoms is not.

April 2103 · Easter · Forgetting the end to an otherwise excellent post · Indifferent Ignorance · Internet · Jesus · Letters · Pure Insanity · THE WORLD *head in hands* · Tim Minchin

The Following Was Written Yesterday Before My Laptop Cut Out…

..I can’t remember how it was supposed to end.

Sometimes something is so big you don’t know what to write, so you don’t and then after a while you just want to write about something else. Especially when other people write their own pieces.

One day, maybe, and in the mean time there are letters to be sent.

I can’t watch the news on 1st April because it’s even less sensical than normal… have Ant and Dec really got to number one? Are people really this horrible? Did Jesus really rise from the dead?

Okay that’s enough for now, I had  to say it though. Back to the chocolate (creme eggs have egg white in them. Excuse me, but why?) and slightly disjointed episode of Jonathan Creek – not because of the plot but because I keep Googling famous people. It’s actually fun if you don’t mind where you end up.

Okay in honour of Easter, and Google, and the fact I’m using Tim’s face as part of my RS revision, here is the best thing I ever Googled in a free period. Shout when you see it.

(All Hail) Creation · March 2013 · Music · Pure Insanity

How I Learned to Stop Giving a Shit and Steal Other People’s Titles

It’s here. My ears are coming off.

From the Kickstarted PDF in yer face
From the Kickstarted PDF in yer face

(I might come back and talk music when I’ve glued my ears back on. All I’ve got so far is that your parents will hate them almost as much as your mum loves Fifty Shades.)

Oh, and WordPress wants me to tag ‘Crust punk’.

Complaints · DISCUSS. · February 2013 · Pure Insanity

Hughes Verses Plath: Fifty Years On

If I’m being honest, the title of this post sets it up to be far more intellectual and well-informed than it actually is. You’re reading said post, however, so my marketing ploy has worked and now all I need to do is actually discuss Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath, fifty years on from Plath’s death.

Sort of.

See, I’ve only just started learning about the pair – Hughes because part of my English coursework requires knowledge of his Birthday Letters and Plath because reading Birthday Letters requires knowledge of her life. So I’m now going to attempt to advocate feminism while bitching about five generations’ worth of feminists.

Because I’ve always believed that feminism is all about fighting for women to have equal rights as men. Same wages, same legal entitlements, same car insurance and same chance of being offered a seat on a crowded bus.

It is not, as I’ve seen in my class’s Birthday Letters background research, blaming a man for his semi-estranged wife’s suicide and ripping both him and his work for shreds over it.

For those of you who clicked on this because you were on Twitter when it published and have very little idea what I’m talking about: in the late nineteen-fifties an English poet named Ted Hughes met and married an American poet named Sylvia Plath. They were very happy for a time and had two children, but the relationship suffered on account of a) two artists living in the same house, attempting to make art simultaneously, and b) Plath’s homesickness (they lived in England), depression and obsession with her dead father, for whom she may have had the Electra Complex. In 1962 Hughes left Plath for one of the married tenants of their London flat and on 11th February 1963 Plath locked herself in her kitchen, put her head in the oven and turned on the gas. Because they were still married at the time, Hughes inherited Plath’s estate and had control over the publication of her unfinished work. This made a lot of people, especially feminists, to whom Plath had become something of an icon, quite angry. They berated Hughes for both his Plath’s-work-publication decisions and his I-won’t-discuss-my-dead-wife-in-public decisions (this amplified when Assia, the woman for whom Hughes left Plath, also committed suicide via gas oven, this time before ensuring small children were safe from the fumes; their daughter died too). Finally, in 1998, when Hughes knew he was terminally ill, he published Birthday Letters – a book of letter-like poems that mostly addressed Plath and alluded to her work and their lives together. This was seen by many readers to be Hughes’ ‘confession’, his version of their marriage and his part – if there was any – in her death.

Hughes and Plath. From 'The Times'
Hughes and Plath. From ‘The Times’

To be honest, I think it’s all bullshit. Not the feminism part. Not the poetry part (despite what my English teacher may tell you). But the part where generations of people think it’s okay to scrutinise someone’s private life, to probe into the untimely death of a young mother regardless of the feelings of her widower and their little children, and to pass judgement on the whole debacle.

Like I said, I may have a few of the facts back-to-front, since my class has done a whirlwind investigation into Plath’s life – and really we just focussed on what’s relevant in the poems we study in Birthday Letters. But I’m not sure if that’s the point. I think the point is that for some reason, the general public thinks that it has a right to know every single detail of a person’s life once the person has become well-known, died, or both. When they – we? – don’t. Not really. Maybe if details are in the public interest, like the Jimmy Savile scandal/investigations. If those details have been divulged by the famous person, then they are in the public domain and free speech entitles everyone to their discussion. So in many ways, we’re perfectly within our rights to talk about Hughes and Plath and their life together. If they didn’t want us to know, they wouldn’t have let their work be published. But that does not give people the right to vandalise Plath’s gravestone. It gives university professors the right to pen scathing reviews of Hughes’ work and to refuse to teach his poetry, sure – but to refuse to acknowledge that he was a good poet? I’m sorry, Mr. (or, I suspect,  ‘Ms.’ in these cases) University Lecturer, but you are no better than those bastards who didn’t want us to get the vote. I might have limited (seriously, seriously limited) understanding of what makes a poet good, great or terrible, but I like Hughes’ work. It’s lighter on the brain than Edward Thomas’ and mentally more colourful than Thomas Hardy’s, at any rate. I’ve not read much of Plath’s work, but when I have, I’ve had generally good impressions. I mean, art is subjective and really I’d like to study Storm… but at the end of the day, even the most ardent religious person can – or should – listen to Storm and admit that, despite its complete derision of all things religious, it’s a damn clever piece of beat poetry.

The same goes for the Hughes verses Plath debate. If you go into the Birthday Letters thinking Hughes a murderer and Plath a heroine, you’re automatically ruling out any enjoyment or learning of new ideas. You’re refusing to remember that there are always two sides to a story and you’re forgetting these are people too. They’re the same as the dude you passed walking down the street: complex, occasionally screwy and sometimes of questionable moral behaviour. They’re also artists, so they may be more screwy – at least more outwardly screwy – than non-artists… but at the end of the day, Hughes and Plath were two human beings. The only people who have the right to judge them are their families and God (unless you’re a Storm-esque person, in which case it’s up to their families).

And if you aren’t their families (or God) then I recommend that you sit back with a copy of their work, toast literary excellence and reflect upon the sadness of early death, wasted talent and grief.

Or you could write an essay comparing Hughes’ presentation of his memories of his late wife with Thomas Hardy’s, which is what I was supposed to start doing three hours ago…

DISCUSS. · February 2013 · Fuckin' Idiots · Pure Insanity

Gay Marriage and Ice Cream, or Something.

So, the tomorrow House of Commons is going to have a vote on whether everyone should be able to get married. Or rather, whether people who are not already married should be able to get married (let’s not legalise polygamy. Sherlock Holmes has taught us what happens if you join that slippery slope… or is that if you join Mormonism?).

For the record I’d like to say, just in case I forgot to mention this during Homophobic Twat Rant #384747: if you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married. No, gay marriage will not undermine straight marriage. The only thing that will undermine a straight marriage will be divorce papers, or perhaps an affair. In fact, it’s not ‘straight marriage’ or ‘gay marriage’, it’s just ‘marriage’. Yes, gay people may get divorced after six hours/a week/two years/twenty years, in the same way that a straight couple might. No, you can’t catch gay. No, God does not hate gay people (one reason for this may be that God does not exist. Or another may be that God created humans in his own image, therefore would be an idiot to hate LGBT etc. people as he is an LGBT etc. person). Yes, the only thing making a gay person different from a straight one is their sexuality. Just like the only thing separating someone who likes ice cream from someone who doesn’t is their taste buds. No, one does not choose to be gay and no, one cannot be cured of being gay. This is because being gay is not an illness, it is a characteristic, like whether or not one enjoys ice cream. Yes, you will be undermining ‘traditional’ marriage if the Act is passed – just like how divorce and non-religious ceremonies undermined marriage when they were introduced. Yes, gay people make good parents. Or they might do, in much the same way that straight people might make good parents.

Go here or search the archives for some funny pictures. Just don’t tell me who I can and can’t spend the rest of my life with.

Oh, and please don’t out any closet Tories who vote ‘no’ to spite their choice. Their vote is their choice, just like whether or not they want to eat ice cream or not discuss who they sleep with is their choice.

Oh, and this isn’t relevant but I’m posting it in case I forget in Racist Twat Rant #4746447:

Tory Pieces of Shit
From IndyMedia.org.uk/Google

But you get the gist.

Books · December 2012 · Movies · Pure Insanity · Videos

Six Degrees of My Headache

I thought I should let you know that recently I’ve been rereading and discovering the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus novels respectively, and that earlier I had a boogie to Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners, which featured in a film called The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which starred Logan Lerman, who also had the lead role in the film version of Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief, and Emma Watson, who played Hermione in Harry Potter, a series to which the Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus stories are compared, because they both have roots in Greek mythology, which obviously means Rick Riordan’s been nicking ideas off JK Rowling.

I hope that knowledge made your head hurt as much as it has mine. Let’s be infinite.