August 2016 · Lists · My Chemical Romance (get a category)

Things You Can Get Me for My Birthday

I’ll be 21 soon, which is basically the last giant birthday I’ll ever have where I can ask for things without being a dick. Also, I’ve been clearing out some cupboards recently and noticed that I own a lot of shit. I own too much shit. Emphasis on ‘shit’. So I thought I’d make a little list for my loved ones to refer to when scratching your heads in the Yankee Candle aisle. If you’re unsure as to whether a potential gift could also be shit, put it back and write a cheque for a leishmania charity. (Please do not ever buy me a Yankee Candle.)

My 21st Birthday Gift List

  • Car insurance. As in, mine.
  • Patreon support. If you were going to spend £5 on shit I don’t need, pledge that much over however many months you like. Then I get to upgrade my blog and you get art and no one has to clean their cupboards out
  • Etsy support. If you were going to spend £5 on shit I don’t need, spend that much in my shop then send your friends everything you bought (for the love of God please do not give it back to me)
  • A book shop gift card. Not Amazon. Not iBook. Something for a shop where I can smell the products before I buy. I fully intend on contributing books to said shops, and I won’t be able to do that if they’ve all been put out of business by tax-avoiding conglomerates amirite
  • Get me an Etsy gift card or a Society6 gift card so I can buy weird fan art and afford the shipping charges
  • Pretend you’re listening when I talk about my job(s). Just for five minutes, pretend you want to know about professional hashtagging
  • Okay you’re going to give me stuff, declare that £5 to be spent in the MCR store. I do in fact always need MCR shit and I don’t think Warner do gift cards.

Is it possible to do one of those wedding list things for birthdays? Because I might have lots of marriages, but 21 only comes around once.

Gerard Way from

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2 thoughts on “Things You Can Get Me for My Birthday

  1. i’d like to know more about professional hashtagging.
    smelling books. you’d think manufacturers of e-book type things would’ve cottoned on and would allow users to purchase sachets of “book smell” to make it a full-on book experience.
    happy birthday – hope you get all the things you desire. not just now, not just this birthday. EVERY birthday!!! and other days too 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not my actual birthday for another month, but these things are best planned. But thank you! I am feeling those warm bday feelings early.

      I have an issue with hashtagging that the rest of the world is oblivious to, especially on Instagram: why fill your super important text box with SEO-boosting phrases which look like shit to the average viewer? Why not put your pretty words in the caption then leave a comment full of hashtags which most viewers can easily ignore? WHY? I am thinking of writing an e-book about this,

      Speaking of e-books, I can’t believe no one’s made a book smell sachet yet. I mean we’d know it was fake, like air fresheners that smell of the countryside in a house next to a motorway, but I’d appreciate the effort.

      Also I love your little profile picture! Is that a lettuce leaf?


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