Fuckin' Idiots · May 2014 · School *choke* · Scriptures

A Poem About Leaving School

I have graced the hallways of my school for seven entire years, roughly the equivalent of the time it takes to get to the front of a queue in the post office. Typically students bring in notebooks into which other students write farewell messages of good luck and sappy happiness. I forgot to get a notebook so I’m writing this instead, which is way more impressive because it’s in the public domain forever.

So, what was happening seven years ago?

  • Gordon Brown was prime minister and students could attend university without first selling their organs
  • Jimmy Saville was an okay dude
  • North Africa was full of peaceful, dictatorial regimes
  • Benedict Cumberbatch could go out in public
  • People used MySpace
  • Leonardo DiCaprio was waiting to win an Oscar

Well, I never said the world had changed beyond all recognition.

But still. Seven years. Part of me thinks about leaving school and is like this:

from lisce.tumblr.com
from lisce.tumblr.com

Part of me feels like this:

Found... somewhere on Tumblr
Found… somewhere on Tumblr

Since I’m a writer, blah blah blah, I thought I’d write a poem about my time in school.

  • A is for ageing, which we have all done
  • B is for bonkers, which we have all become
  • C stands for lots of coffee… enough said!
  • D is Sunday night and that sudden feeling of dread
  • E stands for examinations, which make us want to cry
  • F are the fuckin’ idiots we’ve all had to put up with in class at least once who make us want to die
  • G is General Studies, ironically my best subject
  • H stands for homework, which you shouldn’t try in public
  • “I is not in ‘team’!” which we learnt in PE
  • J are the in-jokes that make strangers want to flee
  • K finishes ‘okay’ which some days you are not
  • L is in ‘lower school’ when you thought sixth formers were hot
  • M is Monday assemblies, the only thing the entire year thinks is shit
  • N are the notices which make the assemblies such a hit
  • O is organisation which… wait, I’ve lost my notes
  • P is for school pond, where there really should be boats
  • Q is in ‘quiet’ which the quiet study room never has been
  • R is in ‘year seven’ when we were really keen
  • S starts off ‘sleep’ which we very rarely do
  • T are the teachers who are actually humans too
  • U are the uniform rules that have haunted us for years
  • V is the vast amount of bullshit we’ve sometimes put up with from peers
  • W is for websites used to hastily gather information
  • X is in the phrase “surely that doesn’t need another explanation?”
  • Y is for “WHY ME, GOD?” a frequently-asked school-based question
  • Z is for zoo, the place to which we might actually return with begrudging joy when it’s time for a reunion.

And by zoo I mean secondary school. Please never accuse me of lacking in appreciation for the poetic arts, ladies and gentlemen. It rhymed.

Anyway, happy end-of-school! (Unless it isn’t the end of school for you, in which case happy Thursday.)


3 thoughts on “A Poem About Leaving School

  1. L and X are my favourite, haha so accurate :>>
    and ok here goes sappy comment yaeyaa ((youre going ot get a realy long one because its typed and i have time to think lol))::

    so yeah something something seven years blahh youve heard all that crap by now haha
    but wow its gone really quickly, and ive had so many good memories with you ( even though years 7-11 are pretty hazy in my head)
    of course theres the obvious initial meeting memories, but for me one of the most distinctive things i remember is sitting together in chemistry and banding together in our lack of understanding haha.
    and of course our german lessons, i hope you dont think im making fun of you but you were seriously hilarious sometimes omg. (which makes up for the fact that youre great in politics and stuff) Especially that one infamous lesson where things got so heated and quick-fire that im pretty sure you were just yelling out random german syllables in the vague hope you would get sweets hah
    trips again are kind of hazy for me, but I’m pretty sure i have a photo from the year 8 boppard trip and youre in a chocolate shop looking really pleased with yourself lool
    and most importantly (sorry school) youre my gig buddy ayooo : )) theres no one i would have preferred to revel in the dumbness of msi with (both on their part and mine) as well as to share pizza from a complete stranger with. Strangely enough the bit i remember even more vividly than that is the toilet break in the pub next door where i broke the light haha, but i think that was just because of the glorious warmth wow. we were truly survivors that night huh. (for both gigs actually lol it was fucking cold)
    so yeah i hope youre satisfied because as ive just shown youve taken up a reasonable amount of neurons in my brain with your amazing dry wit and cynicism which illustrated my feelings about most shitty situations better than i ever could. and even more than that, your ‘teen mother’ side as i like to call it (which is in no way a derogatory statement) has pretty much got me through this year especially, and i mean that pretty literally tbh. so i wont get too sentimental because i can just imagine you scrunching up your face in embarrassment already, but i seriously am super glad that i had to run cross country that day (or walk it) when we met (AT LEAST I THINK THAT’S WHEN WE MET??? GDI MEMORY SUPPRESSION) because i genuinely think youre one of the most caring and insightful people i know even though you act all grumpy with i think is adorable anyway haha
    which also means i dont really need to say good luck for the future, because i know you have the perseverance and talent to do whatever the fuck you please with your life
    so i guess just keep working hard at whatever you choose to do, and i really hope that we do get to chat regularly or meet up later on!! (because im going to be poor and ill need to borrow money))
    hollie aaah xxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Argh my face is scrunching up with LOVE AND DELIGHT aha that needs to go on my wall. Thank you ❤ I am very glad I could provide somebody with something of use during Quick Fire German Shouting since I sure as hell can't remember anything except my 'gedriven' screwup… Sorry school. I also don't remember the specific cross-country session (I try not to remember any cross-country sessions) or being pleased with myself in a chocolate shop, but I'm glad to have provided some entertainment, if unwittingly. Just call me when you need an angry-looking fairy godmother and I'll be there in a puff of MSI dust and foul language! xoxo


      1. haha i know people have been talking about memories of me that i dont remember ad my response has been ‘oh god i dont remember that christ im sorry’ so yeah : p and heey they is like the one time in my life im justified to be sentimental about you ( unless you die or worse, get married) so i was gonna go all out hahea : ]] see you tomorrow baeee


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