August 2012 · DISCUSS. · THE WORLD *head in hands*

Olympics III: the Blues, Boris Dancing and, Basically, a Review

The YouTube videos won’t load either because iPhone files are enormous, or because the Internet’s being slow, or both. So I’m going to talk some more about the Olympics while they load pathetically.

I’m really bummed out that the Games are over. Not quite ‘sad’ or ‘upset’… I feel kind of… ‘blue’. It’s not a phrase I use much, because I think blue is actually quite a happy colour, but I think it fits. Today I missed watching the morning session in my pyjammas, torn between getting dressed and doing exercise and hanging on while they interview Mo Farrah. We’re watching Jonny English this evening instead of becoming experts on a sport we’ve never heard of and will never take part in. The news was on at six. The actual news, not just Olympics 2012 Continued With a Bit About Syria At the End.

Roxy asked on Twitter if it’s too much to ask UK citizens to keep being polite and friendly, and continue on with the spirit that made the Olympics great. I really, really hope it isn’t; but I’m a realist, not an optimist. The weather in this country is usually shit. So is the government, the council, the traffic, the cost of living, modern music, etc. We find it hard to get out in the sunshine before a) It’s too hot for our wee internal thermostats or b) it rains. So how the hell are we going to continue inspiring a generation without winning a gold medal every Saturday night?

If someone mentions Simon Cowell or a dancing dog, I’m going to ban you from this site.

Seriously, though. Since the Jubilee I’ve had increasing pangs of patriotism. From the Queen nearly crying in June to the opening ceremony to athletes crying their eyes out on the podium to Freddie sharing a stage with the Spice Girls and a giant inflatable octopus… I’ve started saying ‘we’ when I talk about Britain. Me, who pretty much disowned the island when I got fed up with incorrect grammar in official documents and being mistaken for an Asian person by ignorant prats.

I think they missed a few capitals from names in the menus of the fish and champagne restaurant (hail modern standards!) and my grandmother pointed out that a volunteer saying “Goodnight, have a safe trip home,” as we left the park was probably because he thought we were foreign… But nothing’s perfect, and I took it as a testament to my suntan.

I’m off topic. Blame my Queen dancing into the small hours. My point is, the last fortnight has given these tiny grey countries something to be proud of. We don’t have to duck our heads in mild embarrassment when we’re abroad and can only speak to locals via hand gestures and nodding anymore. We can stand up (fucking) tall and remember that this is the nation that not only spawned David Bowie and Voldemort, but also the friendliest, brightest and most dramatic Olympic Games since Ancient Greece. Which is pretty damn excellent.

We just need to remember that.

So I’ve compiled a list of pros and cons of the 2012 Games, as a reminder that we’re pretty cool. I’ll start with the negatives, because there’s less of them.


  • The logo. I thought it would grow on me. It didn’t. I thought the branding was trying too hard to be hip and cool and would have been far nicer if the font had been old English… Or ledgible.
  • The mascots. Should have been a lion and a bulldog. Or perhaps a sheep for kicks. They should have been named things people immediately know, like Posh and Becks or Dellboy and Rodney.
  • The ticket system. Actually, it was great in that security was so tight. But it was a shame to see empty seats when I knew so many people who wanted to go.


  • The Mo Bot.
  • The volunteers were absolutely lovely and knew exactly what to do.
  • The BBC’s coverage was excellent.
  • So was the atmosphere. I can’t even describe how happy and excited everyone – from the spectators to the organisers to the athletes – was to be there.
  • I was surrounded by hundreds of thousands of strangers but felt safe. The Army, Navy and Air Force did a great job, and so did the behind-the-scenes team (I suspect there was a pretty large one).
  • While competitors from China were crying over a silver diving medal, Tom Daley leapt in the pool with his friends after getting a bronze.
  • The who Saudi Arabian runner got a huge cheer after finishing after everyone else because she was decked out in a hijab.
  • The food and merchandise wasn’t completely extortionate. The merch wasn’t cheap, but it was no worse than most band merch – and it was distinctly cheaper than a lot of crap we’re told we can’t live without.
  • I hate most sport, but I thoroughly enjoyed the athletics and have been really inspired to get out of the lounge and into my new shiny Team GB trackies.
  • Through an ‘Olympics 2012’ thread I created on, I discovered this video and Zoe Smith’s blog And Zoe Smith, now I think about it.
  • This GIF (which I am so sad won’t load directly).

I’m sleep deprived again. When the YouTube videos finally load, I might add some more to this. Like a fancypants final paragraph. Or a picture of me in my trackies doing some exercise, holding up a sign saying ‘IF THE OLYMPICS CAN INSPIRE ME, YOU HAVE NO REASON NOT TO GET OFF YOUR ARSE’.

Oh, God, there’s a thought. I’ll link the Rwandan team at a bus stop, instead.


4 thoughts on “Olympics III: the Blues, Boris Dancing and, Basically, a Review

  1. I love how not one of those politicians claps at the same time as any other, they clearly have no sense of rhythm whatsoever. I think this demonstrates why they are politicians, and not musicians…although some of them I don’t think should be either.

    I really miss the Olypics! I watched so many sports I wouldn’t have usually watched and really enjoyed every single one!

    Plus, Britain suddenly became all patriotic and optimistic. We cheered on everybody, British or not (but especially the British), and we happy with whatever medal colour we received. Even happy with last place and ‘The Experience’. I think it made us look rather mature and fair as a country, It was good to see.


  2. What is it with politicians dancing? It’s like they all got the grandad gene for dance moves. and it’s always dance moves from yeeeeeeeeeeeeears ago. or spongo dancing – that’s just where you repeat the same movements (usually just hands though possibly with the addition of ‘dancing round the handbags’ legs) over and over again regardless of the rhythm of the music!
    Politics would be so much more entertaining if general elections were based on ability to dance. like x factor auditions – though I detest such programs with a fervent passion! or strictly come dancing – not that I’ve ever watched that either. but anyhow – dance auditions, that’s the future of politics. But not to be confused with the Politics Of Dancing, an 80’s hit.
    None of which has much to do with your post – but it shows I read down to the very end:)

    And … “Blame my Queen dancing into the small hours.” You’re being all patriotic then you blame the Queen, your Queen, for her dancing into the small hours. How do you know this? Were you there? What was she dancing to? Was it just she was in a party mood? Oh wait, not “Blame my Queen, dancing into the small hours” but “Blame it on the fact I was dancing to Queen into the small hours.”


    1. “And the Dad Danceoff Award goes to…” I would definitely have more respect for politicians if I knew they could dance.

      I was dancing to Queen… But I bet the Queen’s danced to Queen. To ‘Killer Queen’.


      I’ll stop now.


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